


let's pretend

by bebe8s



Category: IT (Movies - Muschietti), IT - Stephen King
Genre: (but not theirs), Alternate Universe - College/University, Anal Fingering, Anal Sex, Bisexual Disaster Richie Tozier, Blow Jobs, Dancing, Dirty Talk, Dirty Thoughts, Eddie Kaspbrak Loves Richie Tozier, Emotional Sex, Fake/Pretend Relationship, Gay Eddie Kaspbrak, Getting Together, Lack of Communication, Light Angst, Love Confessions, M/M, Masturbation, Mutual Pining, Not Beta Read, Oblivious Richie Tozier, Richie Tozier Loves Eddie Kaspbrak, Richie Tozier is a Mess, Sharing a Bed, Slow Burn, Slow Dancing, Weddings, for like a minute - Freeform, kind of, like a lil - Freeform, lowkey a song fic, morons to lovers, playlists are richies love language ok, they are stupid!!
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-01-21
Updated: 2020-02-01
Packaged: 2021-02-27 13:54:55
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 8
Words: 18,615
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/22344445
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/bebe8s/pseuds/bebe8s
Summary: "See, now we could easily solve this problem with you just pretending to be my boyfriend for the weekend for this wedding. I don't actually know how it solves your problem, but it does solve mine! And then we would be living in a rom-com," Richie joked."Okay," Eddie says. His casual response makes Richie do a double take.
Relationships: Eddie Kaspbrak/Richie Tozier
Comments: 215
Kudos: 688





	1. maybe someday i could date you

**Author's Note:**

> helloooo i am here to provide u with yet another fake dating au because i love those. this fic just feeds into so many popular tropes lmao. 
> 
> the entire work is based loosely on del water gap's "let's pretend" (an excellent song!!) - each chapter is named with a lyric from the song. i like basing stuff off of songs if u can't tell.
> 
> thank u to all of my [tumblr](https://birightsrichie.tumblr.com) followers for being so nice and encouraging and supportive of my writing!!! u guys rock!!!

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> here's the [playlist](https://open.spotify.com/playlist/3yuXKTz2l0uIrNmlbe3cGq?si=geLNhG6ORFeU92kJl-14fA) for this fic! it comes up in a later chapter, but just in case you want to listen while you read, here's the link now!

"I want to fucking  _ die, _ " Richie said as he flopped down on Eddie's bed with a groan. 

"Well hello to you, too," Eddie said, bringing his eyes from his laptop up to look at Richie's slumped frame. Richie replied with another groan and then smacked his face into Eddie's pillows, so Eddie took that as the cue to carry the conversation. "What's going on, Rich?"

"My uncle's wedding is this weekend and I was  _ supposed  _ to have tricked someone into falling in love with me by now so I could bring a date, but alas, I have failed. So now my uncle is going to be mad when I tell him I actually do not have a plus one so their numbers are off, and then I'm going to miserable all weekend when all of my cousins have dates and I look like a dumb fucking lonely loser."

"Is it really going to be that bad? I mean, I'm sure you will still be the life of the party with all your voices and terrible dance moves," Eddie says. He's now slid his laptop off of his lap so he could give Richie his full attention. Richie tried not to let it excite him too much.

"Yes, of course it will be that bad. You wouldn't understand, Eds. Everyone loves the spaghetti man! I'm just annoying, so it's going to be a very lonely weekend. No one is gonna spend time with me if they can avoid it, and since they all have dates, they can avoid it."

"What if you just told your uncle you couldn't come? Make up an excuse, like school or something." Eddie's trying to be helpful, but he knows it's pointless. Richie does  _ not  _ take advice. Ever. Maybe once or twice he's listened to Bev or Stan, but that's it. He's too stubborn to admit that other people could actually be right. 

"That would be such a dick move. Also, there's no way my parents would be okay with that. Also, I actually like my uncle and his fiancée. I'm looking forward to the actual wedding, just not the social aspect of it."

Eddie thought for a moment before speaking again. "Sorry, bud. Looks like you're stuck, then."

"Why can't I just have a boyfriend or girlfriend? Like, what's the point of being bisexual and  _ doubling  _ my dating pool if I'm still not getting any action. It feels like God played a prank on me, forcing me to be oppressed  _ and  _ single," Richie complained.

"It's not any better over in the gay dating pool," Eddie said, and Richie looked up at him questioningly. 

"Oh, you are not going to act like you aren't racking up the digits. I have  _ seen _ how many guys hit on you, Spaghetti. You most certainly are getting some action."

"I actually am not. No one interesting ever comes up to me," Eddie said plainly. Richie thought it seemed strange because he had seen some very attractive men flirt with Eddie. He only let himself dwell on it for a moment before opening his mouth again to say something that would undoubtedly be stupid.

"See, now we could easily solve this problem with you just pretending to be my boyfriend for the weekend for this wedding. I don't actually know how it solves your problem, but it does solve mine! And then we would be living in a rom-com," Richie joked. 

"Okay," Eddie says. His casual response makes Richie do a double take. 

"I'm sorry, what?"

"I said okay. I'll do it. Why not?"

Richie can think of a lot of reasons why not, starting with the fact that Richie wouldn't be pretending to be in love with him, and ending with the fact that Richie wouldn't be pretending to be in love with him. He thinks that's reason enough. He didn't want to bring Eddie as his fake boyfriend, he wanted to bring him as his  _ real  _ boyfriend. He wasn't going to say that, though.

"You don't have to, Eds. I was just kidding."

"One, Eds isn't my name. I let it slide earlier because you were in distress, but now you're just pushing your luck. Two, I offered. I figure I'll get a few good meals out of it and then you won't have to go alone."

Richie's mouth went dry. He couldn't turn him down without raising suspicions about his feelings. And it was only going to be two days. It couldn't be that bad, right? 

"Okay, if you insist. I will give you the privilege of being Richie Tozier's fake boyfriend. Which, by the way, congrats, because just between us, Richie Tozier is  _ hung _ ," Richie said with a grin. The only way he was going to get through this weekend was with a lot of jokes, so he had to start now.

"I fucking hate you."

"Aw! We really are a loving couple," Richie said, bringing his hands to his heart. Eddie grabbed something off his desk and threw it at Richie, but Richie caught it. It was a stress ball shaped like a cat that Richie had bought Eddie once. It reminded Richie of Eddie, and his heart did a little backflip at the fact that he actually kept it.

"Okay, let's come up with a plan," Eddie said.

"What do you mean?"

"Well, we have to be convincing. So just like, when did we start dating, who asked who-"

"Who's the bottom," Richie interrupted, and Eddie just rolled his eyes.

"Fucking be serious, dipshit. Also, I am." Eddie answered him so casually, and Richie's head was spinning. He could  _ not  _ think about the fact that Eddie liked to be fucked, much less that he was insinuating that it would be by  _ him  _ in this situation. He was sincerely screwed.

"Okay, okay, fine. I asked you by confessing my undying love for spaghetti. You revealed that you find me irresistable, and we went off and had sex for twelve hours straight. You remarked how my dick was the biggest you had ever seen, and that I had ruined you for all other men."

"You are the absolute worst person on the face of the planet. But we can stick with the fact that you asked me. The rest is irrelevant. So, how long have we been dating?" Eddie asked. He was really determined to make this work, and Richie didn't know what he did to deserve such a great best friend.

"Uh, like, four months ago? I couldn't bear the thought of going another year without you being mine, so I confessed on New Years." Richie said it with his usual sarcastic tone, but the truth behind the words hurt a little (or a lot).

"Okay, that makes sense. And we were together that day, so it's plausible. What else?"

"Well, I actually think we know each other pretty damn well, so I don't think we need anymore. We've got the most basic questions down, and then we know enough about the other to answer anything else that comes up. And we've clarified who's the top and who's the bottom, so really, there's nothing else. Now it's just an acting challenge," Richie said. 

"Okay, sounds good, I guess."

"So should we go ahead and fuck now so we know those details or?" Richie asked with a waggle of his eyebrows.

"Get out of my dorm room right now, Richard. You are the supreme idiot of the friend group." Eddie pointed at his door, and Richie got up and started to leave.

"Okay, we'll save the sex for the wedding night. Romantic, right?" Richie winked as he left. He left so quickly he missed how much Eddie was blushing. As soon as he shut the door, Richie let out a long breath that he didn't realize he had been holding in. He pulled out his phone and called Beverly immediately.

"Hey, are you busy? I am having a code red gay crisis."

" _ Oh God. Okay, come over. _ " Beverly said.

\---

Ten minutes later, Richie was knocking on Beverly's door. She swung it open quickly, dressed in one of Ben's old sweatshirts and a pair of paint stained leggings. Behind her was a canvas that she had been working on.

"Sorry to interrupt your painting," Richie grumbled as he walked inside.

"Well, if you really are having a code red gay crisis, as you called it, then the interruption is justified."

"Yeah, I just got myself into the dumbest situation. It's my own fault because I am stupid and I run my mouth and make too many jokes."

Beverly grimaced, because it was true. He really did, and now Richie was really setting it up so that he could be talking about anything, and it was scaring her. She didn't know what sort of nonsense Richie had gotten himself into this time.

"Rich, what happened? You cannot leave me guessing like this," Bev said.

"Eddie's going with me to my uncle's wedding this weekend."

Beverly looked at him with the most dumbfounded expression Richie had ever seen. She stayed quiet for a while, before saying, "I'm sorry,  _ what _ ?"

"I was complaining to him about how I had to go alone and how everyone else is going to have someone, so I was going to be lonely. And then, because I'm me, I made a joke about Eddie being my fake boyfriend for the weekend. And he just agreed. Like, so casually."

"I'm sorry,  _ what _ ?" Bev asked again, and Richie rolled his eyes.

"I know. I am so fucking screwed."

"This seems like it's either a disaster or miracle waiting to happen. I don't know if I want to find out which, though." 

"Okay, well, we're going to find out which. Because I couldn't tell him no without being suspicious, so it's just happening now."

"How are you going to pull this off?" Bev asked.

"I am simply not. But I will make a thousand jokes in an attempt to keep myself from getting too attached."

Richie sighed and threw his head back, pushing his hands onto his face and groaning. He cannot believe that he's gotten himself into such a stupid situation. He's been hiding these feelings for literal  _ years _ now. And he's going to blow it all in one weekend because he made a bad joke that Eddie went along with without question. 

"Okay, well. Promise you'll keep me updated?" Bev asked. Richie nodded through his pain. "Really, Rich. It might not be as bad as you think. It's just gonna be a weekend, and you guys are already really close, so I don't think it's going to be that hard."

"I think the entire time I'm going to be focusing on how badly I wish it was all real, and then when we get back on Sunday night, I am going to be overcome with an immense depression because Eddie is, in fact, not my boyfriend."

"Hey, you never know. Maybe good things will happen. Maybe pretending will lead him to realize he has real feelings for you!"

"Bev, as much as I appreciate that sentiment, things like that just do not happen to me. I am simply not that lucky. I am a bisexual disaster, and this is the most bisexual disaster thing I have ever done in my entire life."

"Well, you're only twenty, so your life hasn't been that long," Bev reasoned, and Richie stared back at her with contempt in his eyes.

"Those are mere details, Marsh." Richie waved her off.

"Have a little faith, Tozier. This could end up being the best disaster of your life, you never know."

"I'm leaving because your positivity is messing with my head. I need someone to commiserate with, not someone to inspire hope in my dead soul."

"See you tomorrow at lunch!" Beverly called after him as he shut the door to her apartment.

\---

When Richie got back to his dorm, Bill was sitting up in his bed watching Netflix. Richie walked in and flopped onto his own bed this time, ready to complain about his situation to yet another person. But before he got a chance to speak, Bill opened his mouth.

"So, fake dating Eddie, huh?" Bill asked, looking over at Richie. He had wrapped himself up in his blankets and pillows, and he just looked like Jabba the Hutt at this point. He let out a pained sigh when Bill spoke.

"God, how did you already hear about it?"

"Eddie told Stan and Mike, and they told me. And I held in my desire to tell them that this is probably a terrible idea considering you've been in love with him for, like, your entire life or something."

Richie flicked Bill off before returning to his blanket swaddle.

"Trust me, Bill. I  _ know  _ that it's a terrible idea. I was joking when I suggested it! I didn't think Eddie would agree, even if I was being serious. But then he just did, and I tried to back pedal, but it didn't work. So now this is happening, and I've just accepted my fate."

Richie pouted to punctuate his point, but it didn't work on Bill. He just got an eye roll in return. 

"You are being so dramatic. It's a weekend. It might be hard, but you can handle it. You've been hiding your feelings forever, how is one weekend going to be impossible? And - and maybe you could even actually  _ tell  _ him now. Maybe he feels the same way," Bill tried to reason with Richie. He knew it was pointless, but he could still try.

"Do you know something I don't, Billiam? Because I'm not telling him unless there's a 0% chance of me getting rejected."

"That's not how life works, bud. You're going to have to take a chance at some point if you ever want to date him."

"Well, I guess I will never date him, then. I am a proud coward. Anyways, it's time to text my uncle the name of my date so they can finish making the fancy little seating chart cards! So exciting!" Richie said, voice dripping with sarcasm. When he went to his phone, he saw he had four texts from Eddie.

_ eddie spaghetti (3:43 PM): i'm sorry if i made things weird by saying we should fake date _

_ eddie spaghetti (3:43 PM): we don't have to if you don't want _

_ eddie spaghetti (3:46 PM): i just didn't want you to be all lonely this weekend _

_ eddie spaghetti (3:48 PM): because then i know i would just be getting a thousand texts of you complaining _

**richie (4:11 PM): lmao its fine dont worry about it**

**richie (4:11 PM): i am very excited to date u**

**richie (4:12 PM): especially because i hear dating for four months usually involves sex ;)**

_ eddie spaghetti (4:14 PM): nevermind i hate you again _

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> thank u guys so much for reading! i'll be trying to update as frequently as i can!! my goal is to update at least twice a week because i just like writing and i don't want to leave you guys waiting!!
> 
> please leave some comments and/or kudos!!! they fuel my soul!!!!


	2. a better first impression

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> "So, Richie and Eddie, when did you guys finally get together? I remember how you guys would always be together whenever I visited," Eliza said. She's always been one of Richie's favorite cousins, but right now, he's not so sure. He swallows his mouthful of pasta before answering.

Richie loaded his bag into his car and tossed his suit over it. He was originally just going to fold it and pack it inside his suitcase, but Eddie was  _ very  _ upset by that, so here he is. Eddie has his suit, which is zipped up inside a garment bag, hanging from the little overhead bar thing that every car seems to have on both sides of the roof. Richie complained that it would obstruct his view, so Eddie had maneuvered it in such a way that it wouldn't block him. 

Eddie also has an absurd amount of luggage. Richie doesn't understand how he has room for two large suitcases in his tiny dorm. He's also so lost as to what Eddie could have possibly packed. They were going for the weekend. He had barely packed three coherent outfits, meanwhile he was willing to bet that Eddie had his entire wardrobe encased in his bags.

"Alright, Sir Spaghetti! It's time to depart! We have a torturous drive ahead of us, my dear sire," Richie said in a mediocre British accent.

"I swear to God, if you do the British guy at any point during this trip, I will kick you in the shins."

"Understood. I will prioritize my other voices."

Eddie rolled his eyes as he turned to say goodbye to their friends. They had all gathered outside the dorms to see them off, even though Richie had repeatedly told them they were going to be gone for literally less than 72 hours.

Richie went to hug Bev, and when she pulled him in, she whispered, "Tell him how you feel." Richie just gave her a look when he pulled back, clearly saying he would  _ not  _ be doing that. Next, he went to hug Bill, who gave him a knowing look this time. Richie was sick of his friends seeing right through him.

Everyone was acting kind of strange in different ways. Richie didn't know what was up, but he chose to ignore it. He didn't want to ask, because he at least knew why Bill and Bev were being weird, and he didn't want to open that can of worms.

"Alright, goodbye, weirdos. We're literally going to be back in two days, stop acting so melodramatic," Richie said as he climbed into the driver's seat. Richie wasn't the best driver, but he knew how anxious Eddie got when he had to drive long distances, so he wasn't going to make him do it. 

Richie plugged in his phone to the aux and started his playlist he had made for their trip, entitled "songs to challenge god to a race to" (Richie refused to name playlists normal things). It was over seven hours long, which was perfect for their drive.

"How long is this drive again?" Eddie asked as he got settled into his seat.

"About six hours, barring traffic. And we are cutting it close to arriving on time. We just might be late."

Eddie let out a sigh as a response, and unlocked his phone. He typed something in and then looked up at Richie.

"Okay, I've googled the best games to play on a long car ride, and we will be playing all of them."

That's how they ended up spending the entire six hour and twenty three minute drive competing. Eddie absolutely wiped the floor with Richie at the license plate game, but then he made the mistake of challenging Richie to the classic alphabetical category game. Richie named movies, songs, bands, actors, foods - anything, really, with ease. When they finally pulled up to the restaurant for the rehearsal dinner, they noticed that they were almost late. They had gotten so swept up in their games that they forgot that they were on a time crunch.

Once they arrived, they rushed out of the car and grabbed some nicer clothes from their bags so they could change in the men's restroom. Richie shrugged into one of his nicer Hawaiin shirts (one might even dare to call it a dress shirt) and a pair of black jeans. It was just the rehearsal dinner, so he didn't have to be red carpet ready. When he walked out of the stall and saw Eddie, his heart jumped into his throat.

Eddie was wearing a light blue button-up shirt, but he had rolled the sleeves up just a bit, and the top button was undone. He had on a pair of dark jeans that hugged his ass  _ just  _ right, and he was currently messing with his hair. Richie thought he might explode, or maybe pop a boner, or more likely, both. It took him a moment to realize he was staring, and then he cleared his throat and prepared himself to make a joke.

"God, good job to me. I've definitely got the sexiest date here," Richie said, finishing his sentence with a wolf whistle. Eddie gave him the finger and turned around.

"Can we put this shit back in your car before going in?"

"Of course, baby," Richie said, sticking his tongue out. Eddie rolled his eyes, and Richie followed him back out to the car. He spent the entire walk trying not to look at Eddie's ass and then failing, so really he just spent the entire walk staring at Eddie's ass. It wasn't his fault that his fake boyfriend happened to look delectable. 

Once they get back inside, they're directed to their table. They've been sat with Richie's parents and a few of his cousins and their dates. As soon as Maggie Tozier sees Richie, she throws her arms around him.

"Rich! I miss you so much. I'm so glad you guys came. And I'm even happier that you are finally together!" She pulled back, looking at Richie with both hands on his shoulders. 

"What do you mean?" Richie asked. He was genuinely confused on what she meant.

"Oh, well it's always been obvious that you two were meant to be more than friends! I always wondered if you were dating and just hadn't told me, with all the time you would spend together and how close you have always been."

His father is standing next to her, nodding along knowingly. Richie knows he's blushing, but he can't bring himself to look at Eddie. He doesn't want Eddie to see how embarrassed he is that his mom has had him completely figured out for years now.

"Yeah, well, we finally figured it all out," Eddie answered since Richie seemed to have forgotten how to form words. Before he knew what was happening, Eddie was wrapping his arms around Richie's waist and pulling him close. Richie forced himself out of his momentary daze and looked down at Eddie with a smile. 

As soon as his parents have moved on to talk to someone else, Richie turned to Eddie with an apologetic look on his face.

"I'm sorry about that. It was weird."

"Nah, it's fine. I mean, they do have a point. We have always been close. And neither of us are straight, so it's not an unreasonable conclusion for them to have drawn."

Richie's throat goes dry listening to Eddie talk about it so casually. He's trying to think of something to say when Eddie speaks again. "Plus, it just helps us with convincing them that we really are together."

"Yeah, I guess you're right. Anyways, I'm still sorry," Richie said, and Eddie rolled his eyes.

Their next conversation was with Richie's slightly homophobic grandparents, so they just avoided the topic of their relationship. They were very conscious with their behavior, making sure they didn't do anything that would earn a rude comment from either of the grandparents. Richie grimaced when his grandma kept referring to him and Eddie as "best friends," but he really had no reason to, since that was the truth. It still wasn't fun to hear, though. Especially not during his weekend of pretend love. 

It didn't take long for waiters to come out with trays of food, so everyone found their way to their seats. They were serving some kind of fancy pasta dish, and Richie was very excited to see that. He was a big fan of pasta.

As soon as everyone settled into their chairs, conversation started up. At first it was just casual chit chat about what everyone has been up to, so Richie and Eddie were able to just listen, but then one of Richie's cousins brought them into the conversation.

"So, Richie and Eddie, when did you guys finally get together? I remember how you guys would always be together whenever I visited," Eliza said. She's always been one of Richie's favorite cousins, but right now, he's not so sure. He swallows his mouthful of pasta before answering.

"Uh, yeah, so, not to be a huge sap or anything, but I finally asked him out on New Years Eve. We were with our friends, and I just was tired of pining from afar, so I told him how I felt. And somehow I got lucky enough that he felt the same way. Still not sure how I pulled that off," Richie finished off with a breathy laugh. Everyone looked endeared by the story, and the way they all gazed at the two of them was making Richie uncomfortable.

Another one of Richie's cousins, Max, piped up next. "Eddie, what's the secret to tolerating Richie? Like, how did he somehow get someone sane to date him?"

"Well, he just makes me laugh. That's all I really care about. I forget about anything bad when I'm with him because he's always making me laugh or smile. I guess he's more tolerable when you're in love with him, though." Eddie's answer came off his tongue easily and naturally. So much so that Richie's head was spinning. He did everything he could to keep Eddie happy, but he didn't realize it was something Eddie had thought about before.

"You guys are adorable. I'm predicting this is gonna be your rehearsal dinner before you even know it!" 

The statement came from one of his cousins, but he's not sure which one. He's too lost in his own mind. He's staring at Eddie, still trying to wrap his head around the words he had just said. He knew it was all just an act, but a part of him hoped that Eddie was telling the truth. 

Thankfully, the conversation moved on and the focus was no longer on Richie and Eddie. Richie tried to focus on eating, trying to give himself anything else to think about. It wasn't easy, especially with Eddie laughing right next to him. 

As everyone finished their dinner, the toasts began. They were mostly just funny stories about the bride, Miranda; or the groom, Adam; or even both of them. All of the stories seemed like things Richie would do with Eddie. One story in particular stuck with him.

One of the bridesmaids was telling a story about how one time, when Miranda was so sick she had to cancel her Valentine's date with Adam, and how she had called her friend crying about it because it was their first Valentine's since they started dating, and she hated the fact that she had to miss it. And then mid phone call, she heard a knock on her door. She opened it to see Adam, with a bag of takeout from Panera, and a tub of ice cream. Supposedly the bridesmaid had overheard this whole gushy confession of love from Adam.

Richie couldn't help but think about how that's something he would do for Eddie. It wouldn't even have to be Valentine's. It could be just a regular Wednesday, and if Eddie told Richie that he was sick, Richie would show up at his door with food and distractions to make Eddie feel better. He briefly wondered if he was too obvious in his affection for Eddie.

As the toasts continued, Richie zoned in and out. His mind kept wandering to thoughts of Eddie. Eddie seemed to be listening, but he was sure that this had to be boring, so Richie leaned forward and whispered in his ear, "I'm sorry you're stuck here."

Eddie turned to him and whispered back, "I offered."

Richie continued with an, "It still sucks. I'm sure this is insanely boring."

Then Eddie said something that Richie was sure he would be obsessing over for the next few days. "I want to be here, Rich. I'm having fun here with you."

Richie just gave him a smile, because he was afraid if he spoke he would blurt out  _ I love you _ , and he just wasn't ready for that yet. He probably never would be, honestly, because he was so scared of what Eddie might say back. He felt his phone buzz, and looked down to see a text from Beverly.

_ bev (7:02 PM): how's it going so far?? _

_ bev (7:03 PM): have u guys confessed ur undying love for each other yet _

**richie (7:04 PM): no, but i have been struggling to stay sane**

**richie (7:04 PM): he keeps saying the cutest coupley shit**

**richie (7:05 PM): it's torture bc like. i know it isn't real for him**

_ bev (7:08 PM): are u sure it's not real??? [eyeball emoji] _

Richie has no fucking clue what that last text means. So, of course, now he has something new to obsess over. He keeps wondering if she knows something she's not sharing, because she seems awfully sure that Richie's feelings aren't one-sided. But Richie has no reason to believe that, and if she's not going to tell him what she knows, then he's not going to do anything.

Eventually, the night comes to an end. By the time they're leaving, they have been told by upwards of fifteen people that  _ it's so great you guys are finally together!  _ or some other iteration of that same sentiment. Every time it makes Richie blush, embarrassed that his long time crush has been noted by many observers. But Eddie never seems to be bothered by it, so Richie tries his best to hide how he's feeling. 

They say their goodbyes, and Richie gets an extra tight hug from his mom, and then they head to the hotel. Everyone is staying in the same place, so it's like a giant carpool to the local Hilton. Eddie leans his head back as soon as he gets into the car.

"Sorry that went so long. I know it's not that fun," Richie said as he started the car.

"Will you stop apologizing for everything? I told you that I offered to be here, dipshit. I want to be here. I am happy to be here. You don't have to say sorry for every little thing. It's fun because it's with you," Eddie says. His tone started out sounding annoyed, but by the end he just sounds genuine, and it makes Richie's heart melt. 

"Sorry," Richie says, smiling as he watches Eddie give him the finger for the third time that day. 

"Okay, just fucking drive. I am ready to take a shower," Eddie says, and Richie can do nothing but oblige.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> hmmm yes i did update right away! i am just excited to write this ok. pls leave me some comments and kudos bc they really do make me update faster!!!!
> 
> i am very much projecting because i know my uncle is going to be getting married soon and i am not going to have a date :/ but i don't have an eddie to be my fake date :/
> 
> anyways! come berate me on [tumblr](https://birightsrichie.tumblr.com)!


	3. you fuck me like an old friend

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> "Shit. I'm so sorry, my mom made the reservation for me and I forgot to ask her to change it to two beds when you said you'd come."
> 
> "Well, it's probably good you didn't ask that, since boyfriends wouldn't really sleep in separate bed," Eddie points out, and just hearing him say boyfriends is enough to tug at Richie's heart.
> 
> "Yeah, regardless, I can curl up in that chair for the night," Richie says, motioning to the uncomfortable-looking, small chair in the corner.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> yes i AM about to throw another classic trope in here. yes i AM proud of that.

The hotel is only a short drive from the restaurant where they had the rehearsal dinner. Most of Richie's family has already checked in to their rooms, so it's just him and Eddie waiting at the front desk. Eddie brought so much luggage he had to get one of those bellhop carts, and all Richie can do is tease him about it endlessly. 

"Alright, Mr. Tozier. You will be in room 402 for the night. Here are your room keys," says the nice lady behind the desk. Richie takes them from her, smiling and saying a quick, "Thank you!"

"Please call down if you need anything!" she says as they start to head towards the elevators. Richie laughs as Eddie struggles to corral the luggage cart, but he ultimately steps in to help him before it tumbles over.

The elevator ride is short and quiet. Most are, Richie thinks. As they arrive at their room, Richie pulls out a key and swipes it in front of the sensor, hearing the door unlock. They work together to roll the cart into the decent sized room, stopping short when they notice the bed.

"Shit. I'm so sorry, my mom made the reservation for me and I forgot to ask her to change it to two beds when you said you'd come."

"Well, it's probably good you didn't ask that, since boyfriends wouldn't really sleep in separate bed," Eddie points out, and just hearing him say  _ boyfriends  _ is enough to tug at Richie's heart.

"Yeah, regardless, I can curl up in that chair for the night," Richie says, motioning to the uncomfortable-looking, small chair in the corner. Eddie gives him a weird look before saying, "That's insane. We've shared a bed before. I think we can do it again."

All Richie can think about is how torturous it has always been to share a bed with Eddie. To have Eddie so close to him, but not in the way he wants. But, of course, he can't say that right now, so he just nods. 

Eddie starts to unpack his clothing into the drawers, because of course he does, and Richie just watches him, dumbfounded. 

"What? I don't want my stuff to wrinkle! Speaking of, we need to hang up our suits."

Eddie is so cute, walking around their hotel room with purpose. He knows what he's doing, and he's doing it well. Richie would be a wrinkly mess without Eddie to take care of him. Well, Richie's already a wrinkly mess, but he'd be even  _ more  _ of a wrinkly mess. He's about to make a comment about how Eddie should go into the hotel business, but then Eddie announces he's going to take a shower.

He takes his overstuffed toiletry bag into the bathroom and shuts the door behind him. Richie hears the water turn on and he rubs his fingers into his eyes, because now he's thinking about the fact that Eddie is about to be  _ naked _ . Naked  _ and  _ wet. Naked and wet  _ and  _ so close to him. If they really were boyfriends, Richie would be trying to convince Eddie to let him join him in the shower. Hell, Richie's kind of considering trying anyways. 

Instead, he lays back on the bed and turns on the TV, scrolling through the channels until he finds  _ The Hangover  _ playing on one of the channels. He scrolls through his phone as the movie plays in the background, and against his better judgment, he sends Beverly a text he knows she won't like.

**richie (9:23 PM): so. eddie is naked in the shower and i am struggling**

**richie (9:24 PM): this is biphobic**

**richie (9:24 PM): he's so fucking hot and he's just casually in there, acting like i don't want to break down the door and fuck him against the wall**

_ bev (9:27 PM): i am going to block you _

_ bev (9:28 PM): i know we are best friends but i do NOT want to read that shit _

_ bev (9:28 PM): text literally anyone else about your sexual fantasies _

**richie (9:30 PM): but ur the only one that gives good advice :(**

_ bev (9:31 PM): i do not care. one more explicit text and i am changing my phone number _

**richie (9:34 PM): fine. didn't realize u were a homophobe**

_ bev (9:35 PM): you are unbearable _

Richie then decides to deflect his emotions by texting a joke in the Losers' group chat. He opens the text chain, which is rarely quiet, and clicks on the little camera next to his text bubble. He snaps a picture of him with the bathroom door in the background, and hits send.

**richie (9:38 PM): just waiting for sexy little eddie to come out of the shower :(**

**richie (9:38 PM): who else thinks it's a crime that he's naked without me**

**richie (9:39 PM): boyfriends are supposed to have sex :(**

staniel the maniel (9:41 PM): Eddie, blink once if you need me to come rescue you.

**richie (9:42 PM): he doesn't need u stanthony. he has me!!!!!**

**_big billiam (9:45 PM): Richie, didn't we talk about u sending explicit texts in here_ **

**_sheep man (9:46 PM): we definitely did_ **

_ ben handsome (9:48 PM): and yet, here we are _

**bev (9:48 PM): hey, at least you don't have to deal with his individual explicit texts. they're even worse**

**richie (9:49 PM): excuse me, mrs. marsh, but i believe those are CONFIDENTIAL messages exchanged between friends**

staniel the maniel (9:50 PM): no such thing as friend-trashmouth confidentiality

**_big billiam (9:52 PM): send screenshots_ **

_ ben handsome (9:53 PM): #exposerichie _

At some point during his messaging, Richie hears the water turn off. He knows Eddie's still going to be in there for at least ten more minutes, because he has the most extensive and stupid nightly routine. As everyone is trying to convince Bev to expose Richie's confidential horny thoughts, the bathroom door swings open.

"Okay, that shower? Fantastic. Makes sleeping in the same bed as you worth it." 

Richie knows Eddie is talking, but he's not hearing any of his words. Because he's damp and in nothing but a towel and he looks like he's straight out of one of those sexy calendars. Richie's mouth goes dry as he tries to remember how to form words that won't reveal his aforementioned confidential horny thoughts.

"Dear God, did you guys text enough while I was in the shower? I've got so many fucking unread messages."

"Oh, they just wanted details on all of the hot sex we're having," Richie says, trying to joke, but his voice comes out a little strangled. He's struggling to keep his face from turning bright red, and he's pretty sure he's breathing heavier, but if Eddie notices, he doesn't say anything.

"Richie, what are these confidential thoughts they so desperately want Bev to expose?" Eddie asks with a grin. 

Richie resorts back to the classic Tozier talent of deflection and says, "Just all the things I've told her about your mom."

Eddie scrunches up his nose and says, "You suck."

Richie pulls out his phone to send one last group text before hopping in the shower.

**richie (9:56 PM): now its my turn in the shower. rt if u think its a crime that eds wont join me**

staniel the maniel (9:56 PM): As I said before, Eddie, blink once if you need me to come rescue you.

**richie (9:57 PM): iamlooking.jpg**

**richie (9:57 PM): thats eds right now cause hes not blinking**

_ eddie spaghetti (9:58 PM): iamnotlooking.jpg _

_ eddie spaghetti (9:59 PM): actually, that's me _

_ eddie spaghetti (9:59 PM): i'll be waiting, stan _

Richie playfully shoves Eddie before getting up. "Alright, Spaghetti Man, try not to think about me too much while I'm gone!" Richie throws a wink in Eddie's direction before he shuts the door to the bathroom.

As soon as the doors shut, Richie looks at himself in the mirror and whispers, "What the fuck is wrong with you? Why are you like this? Can you not just act normal with your best friend who you are fake dating but are for real in love with?"

Hearing it out loud makes Richie realize how ridiculous this whole situation is. But they can't turn back now, so he just has to wait out the weekend.

Richie climbs under the warm water and feels it run over his skin. He was hoping it would start to clear his mind, but, unfortunately, it is not working. He knows he should not jerk off with his best friend/fake boyfriend/love of his life in the next room, but he also knows that if he doesn't, he's probably going to wake up in the middle of the night trying to dry hump Eddie in his sleep, and that seems even worse.

So, yeah, maybe he does jack off in the shower. And maybe he does feel guilty about it. And maybe he does think about Eddie the whole time. But, really, that's just normal at this point for him. 

Richie gets out of the shower about twenty minutes later and dries off. The mirror is fogged up from the humidity, but he can still make out how flushed he looks. Hopefully Eddie will think that's just from the hot water. 

When he walks out of the bathroom in his towel, he sees Eddie has put on clothes. In this case, that does not make things better. He is now wearing his ridiculously short sleep shorts and a loose t-shirt that Richie is pretty sure used to be his. 

"I changed it to  _ Friends _ , I hope that's okay-" Eddie stops speaking when he looks up at Richie. Richie is convinced that Eddie has him figured out. He's also convinced that Eddie's eyes are lingering a little longer than they should. The moment feels oddly charged, but Richie is pretty sure he's just imagining it.

He shakes his hair out, breaking the tension and drawing a groan from Eddie. "God, Rich. You really are like a dog."

"Didn't you know?  _ The Shaggy Dog  _ was actually a biopic about me," Richie says as he walks back into the bathroom with his boxers. He pulls them on and hangs up his towel, but just before climbing into bed, he realizes it might be a little weird for him to be this scantily clad. He grabs a random t-shirt from his bag and pulls it over his head before returning to the bed.

"Also, Eds, have I taught you nothing? There are so many comedies that are better than  _ Friends _ . This is mediocre at best."

"Hey, fuck you! It is not! It makes me laugh, like, way more than you do," Eddie says, his face breaking into a grin at the last part. 

"Ouch. Hitting me right where it hurts."

Eddie rolls his eyes and says, "We should probably go to bed. You have to be up before noon tomorrow."

"Alright, fine. I will wake up before noon  _ just  _ this once."

Both of them turn to their sides to turn off the lamps by both sides of the bed. Richie plugs his phone in and folds his glasses up, setting them both on the nightstand. He turns back and lays on his back, unsure of what position to sleep in.

"Goodnight, Chee," Eddie says softly, curled onto his side and facing away from Richie.

"Night, Eds."

Richie lays there for what seems like hours, unable to think about anything except for how close Eddie is to him right now. How, if they were real boyfriends, he would have his body pressed up against him. It's torturous, but he still can't stop his mind from running wild.

Eventually, he finally gets himself to drift off, but his sleep isn't very restful. All he can dream about is Eddie.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> haha bet u thought they were gonna fuck cause the title. nope! prank!
> 
> idk man i am havin fun writing this! leave some comments and kudos if u are enjoying it!
> 
> come talk to me on [tumblr](https://birightsrichie.tumblr.com)!


	4. we'll play dress-up and i might need you

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Eddie takes a sharp inhale before extending his hand and saying, "I'm Eddie, Richie's boyfriend." If Richie didn't know any better, he'd say that Eddie was jealous. But he does know better, so he reminds himself that this is all an act.

Richie's alarm goes off far too early for him. As he rubs at his eyes and lazily grabs his phone, he hears the shower on. It's then that he remembers he spent the night with Eddie in his bed, and that now they have to spend the rest of this day being fake boyfriends. He resolves to ignore the impending personal crisis and just fuck around mindlessly on his phone for the time being.

He's still doing this when Eddie gets out of the shower, hair damp and towel wrapped around his waist. Richie makes sure that his eyes stay focused on his phone screen. 

"Rich, we gotta leave in for brunch in, like, fifteen minutes. You should probably get up," Eddie says as he looks through the drawers to find his clothing.

"I guess I shall then," Richie mutters, dragging himself into the bathroom to brush his teeth. He makes a vague attempt to style his hair, but essentially gets nowhere. When he comes out of the bathroom, Eddie is buttoning up his shirt. This time, it's a peachy color, and it looks excellent on him. Richie averts his eyes and goes for his suitcase. He pulls out what he deems to be a nice Hawaiin shirt and a pair of dark jeans. 

"Okay, we need to leave now if we don't want to be late again," Eddie says, standing by the door and waiting for Richie.

"We could always be a  _ little  _ late. You know, mess up our hair and stuff. Make 'em really think we're having a morning treat," RIchie says with a wink. Eddie just rolls his eyes and deadpans, "You are my least favorite person on this entire planet."

They end up arriving four minutes early, which Eddie claims is still not early  _ enough _ , because being early is being on time and being on time is being late. Richie thinks that's the dumbest thing he's ever heard, but he just nods whenever Eddie mentions it.

Brunch is set up at some fancy outdoor venue that Miranda found. It's for the wedding party and close family of both the bride and groom, so that's how Richie got stuck coming. He would much rather sleep in until the actual wedding happens later that afternoon.

They're free to sit wherever they want, and Richie and Eddie somehow end up sitting with several of the bridesmaids, mainly because Richie and Eddie sat down first and  _ then  _ these girls came up and surrounded them. Richie assumed they were very excited to have the prospect of a "gay best friend" or whatever. They were going to be very disappointed to learn that's just not a real thing.

So far, all that's on the table is a random assortment of pastries, which Richie is more than happy to eat. He's got half of a blueberry muffin stuffed in his mouth when one of the bridesmaids, Clara, starts talking to him.

"Hi! You're Richie right?" Clara asks over her mimosa. Richie just nods, seeing as he's got a mouth full of muffin.

"Miranda was very excited for us to meet you, Richie! She says you're hilarious," Clara says, leaning in closer and putting her hand on his thigh. Very bold and upfront of her. If he didn't have Eddie with him, Richie probably would have ended up sleeping with her. 

Doing his best to swallow his muffin first, Richie says, "Uh, yeah. I guess you could say that." He doesn't even realize Eddie was listening in until he says, "What are you talking about? Ignore him, Richie is literally the  _ funniest  _ person on the planet."

"I believe it. He just looks like he's really good at making people laugh," Clara says through a giggle, undeterred by Eddie's presence. 

Eddie takes a sharp inhale before extending his hand and saying, "I'm Eddie, Richie's boyfriend." If Richie didn't know any better, he'd say that Eddie was jealous. But he does know better, so he reminds himself that this is all an act.

"Oh, I didn't realize you were seeing someone," Clara says as she shakes Eddie's hand politely. She then pulls back into her own space and looks at them quietly. Richie suddenly feels very awkward in between the two of them, so he just goes for another bite of his muffin. 

"Yeah, somehow I got lucky enough to call him mine," Eddie says, pressing his lips to Richie's cheek and putting his hand on Richie's thigh. Richie can feel the blush spreading on his face, but there's nothing he can do to stop it. He just decides to nod and smile. 

Then, Clara turns and starts a conversation with another one of the bridesmaids. Richie expects Eddie to stop touching him, but he doesn't. He just casually leaves his hand on Richie's leg, as if it's a normal thing. Richie's stomach is doing all sorts of flips, and he can't seem to calm it down, because Eddie's  _ touching  _ him. He just kissed him on the cheek, and now he's touching him, and it's all so much. 

Eventually, they get into a conversation with another of the bridesmaids, this one named Becca. She's also a college student, so they all talk about their majors until the food arrives. That's when Eddie finally removes his hand from Richie's thigh, since he needs it to eat and all. 

They're having this fancy personal quiche. They had a choice of three, that way they could get something they liked. Richie's has just ham and cheese, but Eddie's has what seems like every vegetable that exists. There's also these giant bowls of mixed fruit that are brought out with the quiche, and Richie decides he's going to eat all of the pineapple possible. He picks up the serving spoon and starts picking around, scooping just pineapple onto his plate.

"Are you really gonna be like that about the fruit?" Eddie asks, an incredulous smile on his face.

"Why of course I am, Eddie Spaghetti. While I would much rather be dining on spaghetti, I can settle for pineapple for now. It's just as sweet as you, after all."

Eddie rolls his eyes and says, "You're such an idiot."

Richie grins and leans in close, lowly saying, "Plus, you know what they say about pineapple, right? Makes your cum taste sweeter." He winks as he pulls his face back, and he is acutely aware of the flush on Eddie's cheeks now.

"Well, then it's pointless for you, since you're not getting blown anytime soon, dickwad," Eddie snips back, but he stumbles over a few of the words in a very questionable way. Richie is intrigued.

"Don't be so sure. We're gonna have at least two hours to kill between brunch and the wedding, and I can think of no better way to spend that time with my dear  _ boyfriend. _ " 

"Is this how you're going to be all day? Because I might have to tap out as your boyfriend if that's the case."

"How would I even  _ survive  _ without my Eds?" Richie pleads dramatically, and Eddie shakes his head as he lets out a breathy laugh. "You're right, you wouldn't. It would take you about three minutes to either injure yourself or get arrested."

"Hey! I'm not  _ that  _ bad!" Richie exclaims, but Eddie just raises his eyebrows at him and gives him a pointed look until he concedes. "Fine, maybe I am."

"But you don't have to worry. I'm not going anywhere," Eddie says genuinely, and now Richie's heart feels like it's going to burst right out of his chest.

They fall back into conversation after that, chatting with the other members of the wedding party and some of Richie's family. The entire time, though, all Richie can focus on is how touchy Eddie is being. It seems like he is always touching Richie in some way, whether it's a hand on his leg or shoulder or back. At one point, Eddie actually brushes Richie's curls out of his eyes, and Richie is pretty sure that's what it feels like to see God. 

Eventually, the brunch wraps up and everyone starts to head their separate ways to get ready before the wedding. Since Richie isn't in the wedding party, he gets to just head back to the hotel with Eddie. 

"What time does the wedding start?" Eddie asks once they're back in the car.

"4:00, but they have like a drinks and appetizers thing beforehand that starts at 3:00 I think. That's the type of thing we can show up late for, though."

Eddie nods, and the rest of the car ride is quiet, save for Richie singing along with his playlist (this one entitled "skin is just clothes for ur bones" - he doesn't really know what that means or how he chose songs that apply to it, but he likes it). 

When they get back to their hotel, they have a few hours to kill before they need to leave. After spending a solid five minutes disagreeing over what to do, they decide to just watch TV. They flip through the channels until they find something they want to watch, and ultimately end up watching  _ Family Feud  _ reruns. 

They spend the first episode calling out their own answers, arguing about what is more likely to be on the board. But after the first episode, this dies down and they end up scrolling through their phones. After about fifteen minutes of this, Eddie looks up at Richie.

"Hey, Rich. Can I ask you something?" 

Richie's heart jumps into his throat, and he's terrified of what might happen. He pushes that down and manages to say, "Uh, yeah. Of course."

"Why aren't you dating anyone? Like, you were clearly upset about the fact that you're single for the wedding, and as much as I hate to say it, you're both attractive and fun to be around. I'm sure you could get anyone at school."

Richie's heart stays in his throat. He has absolutely no idea how to reply to that.  _ Oh, it's just because I'm in love with you, and no one else compares. I'd rather throw up than go on a date with someone that isn't Eddie Kaspbrak, so I just don't go on dates at all. _

Instead, he just says, "I don't know. Just waiting for the right person."

Eddie nods, and then the conversation dies back down. They go back to their silence, and Richie goes to text Beverly.

**richie (1:33 PM): anyways, im having crisis after crisis today**

_ bev (1:35 PM): what's happening? and if the answer is horny, do NOT make me read that with my innocent eyes _

**richie (1:35 PM): ur eyes are far from innocent miss marsh**

**richie (1:36 PM): but basically. we had a brunch to go to this morning, and he was so touchy the whole time. and at one point this girl was flirting with me and i swear he got jealous and possessive ?????**

**richie (1:38 PM): and now were just in the hotel room chillin before we have to go, and he just randomly asked why im not dating anyone AND he called me attractive AND fun to be around**

**richie (1:39 PM): i think he knows and is just torturing me at this point**

_ bev (1:40 PM): you are very stupid _

_ bev (1:40 PM): he is like that with you A LOT _

_ bev (1:41 PM): just like take a moment to think about why he would agree so quickly to do this. perhaps the feelings are mutual???? _

**richie (1:43 PM): u cant say that shit to me i might die**

**richie (1:43 PM): but what if i ask him out and he reports me to mr mike pence**

_ bev (1:45 PM): not your funniest joke, i must say _

_ bev (1:46 PM): mainly because he would actually just say yes _

**richie (1:47 PM): wish i could believe u but im pretty sure were just having a Platonic Bro Weekend**

**richie (1:48 PM): like saturdays are for the boys or whatever shit those guys say**

_ bev (1:51 PM): stop texting me and talk to the love of your life _

_ bev (1:52 PM): and if you don't use this weekend to make a real, ACTUAL move, i will block your number as punishment _

Richie looks up from his phone just as Eddie gets up from the bed. "Dude, we have, like, an hour. Why are you getting ready already?"

"Sure, the appetizer thing  _ starts  _ at 3:00, but you have to factor in however long it takes to get there, too."

Richie opens up the maps app on his phone and types in the wedding venue. Once it loads, he sees it is a quick seven minute drive,and holds his phone up to show (and gloat to) Eddie. 

"Okay, fine. I will wait fifteen more minutes before I get up to start getting ready."

Richie feels a little smug as Eddie sits back down on the bed. They don't end up talking, but it's still nice. Occasionally, one of them will show the other a meme on their phone, and Richie tries to remind himself that's something that friends do, and that it does not mean Eddie is also in love with him. But, true to his word, Eddie gets up in fifteen minutes and starts getting ready. Richie waits about five more, just to prove a point, before he gets up.

Eddie spends a very long time in the bathroom styling his hair and whatever else he does to make himself look so damn good all the time. When he finishes, Richie goes in to try to tame his hair at least a little bit. He fights it for a minute, but eventually is able to style it in a somewhat presentable manner. He is very much not ready for what he sees when he walks back into their room, though.

Eddie is standing there in navy blue dress pants with a white button up shirt tucked into it. He hasn't buttoned his shirt up all the way, so Richie can see his collarbones, and he fights every urge to press him against the wall and suck a trail of hickies onto his skin.

He probably spends a minute or two too long staring at Eddie, but he can't find it in himself to care, not when Eddie looks  _ that  _ good. Richie goes over to where Eddie hung up his suit for him and pulls it off the rack, trying to shake his desire to kiss Eddie.

He gets dressed in his suit, which, in true Richie Tozier style, is just a funky patterned shirt tucked into black dress pants with a blazer thrown on top. They start to get ready to leave the room, so Eddie slides his blazer on, and Richie almost passes out. He looks  _ perfect _ . Like, so good that Richie almost just throws caution to the wind and kisses him right then and there. He doesn't, though. Instead, he says, "Wow. Sorry that you're stuck with me tonight, because otherwise, you would  _ definitely  _ be getting laid in that outfit."

Eddie blushes and rolls his eyes, and it's adorable. Richie puts on his British accent and says, "Onwards, my dear prince!"

"I thought I said no British guy this weekend," Eddie complains, and Richie shrugs. "My bad, you definitely did. I was so distracted by your ass in those pants that I forgot."

That one was a little too close to a real comment. Really, it was entirely truthful, but Richie failed to put his normal jokey spin on it, and it ended up just sounding genuine.

"We totally overlooked the biggest issue with this fake dating thing: there's just no logical explanation for how you could ever get someone as hot as me to go out with you."

"Ouch, Eds. But I present the only explanation needed: my fingers, my mouth, and my dick. Tell me that's not convincing enough." Richie grins as he speaks, and Eddie once again gives him the middle finger. Richie is glad to have recovered from his previous accidentally-truthful comment.

The drive to the venue is quick and uneventful. Similarly, the mixer beforehand is  _ also  _ uneventful, but sadly not quick. Richie is able to sneak a few drinks for him and Eddie from the open bar, but it's not easy, and he's constantly worried someone in his family is going to call him out.

They spend the next forty minutes of their lives answering questions about how they got together, when, what they're doing in college, and whatever other mundane question his family members and friends can come up with. Once it gets close to 2:00, everyone starts making their way outside to the part of the winery where the ceremony is taking place. Eddie and Richie end up sitting next to Richie's parents, which is fitting for the event.

Richie is shaking his leg and tapping his fingers restlessly. This is normal for him, but right now it seems to be more than usual. Eddie reaches out and takes takes Richie's hand in his own, intertwining their fingers. He rests it on Richie's leg, helping him to calm down enough to stop shaking. 

Instead of letting go after Richie stills, Eddie stays like that. The entire ceremony passes, and Eddie is still holding Richie's hand. And Richie is pretty sure that he has to be dreaming at this point, because this is  _ too  _ real. As boring as it is, Richie doesn't want the ceremony to end. He doesn't want Eddie to let go of his hand.

When they get to the vows, Richie struggles to stop himself from looking at Eddie. Everything they're saying about being in love and wanting to make each other happy forever is resonating deeply with him. He could say any of those words to Eddie and be telling the truth. He's pretty sure he could come up with downright  _ beautiful  _ vows for Eddie. And then he wants to kick himself, because this is a very stupid train of thought for him to be having right now.  _ Very  _ stupid and  _ very  _ improbable.

Eventually, they finish their "I do's" and kiss, walking back down the aisle as a married couple. Everyone claps, so Richie has to release Eddie's hand. Everyone's smiling around them as they start to make their way back inside for the reception. As Richie turns to head inside, Eddie reaches out and grabs his hand again, running his thumb over his hand. Richie nearly trips and falls flat on his face. He doesn't know how he's going to survive the rest of the night with Eddie acting like this, so touchy and personal and perfect. 

He decides that Eddie Kaspbrak deserves an Academy Award for acting, because he's doing a damn good job pretending to be in love with Richie.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> i must say. i am pretty happy with this chapter. like i normally have a pretty decent amount of self doubt when i update, but i really like this.
> 
> i am basing everything about the wedding venue on the winery my dad and stepmom got married at, since that's the most recent wedding i've been to, even though it was in middle school and i'm now in college.
> 
> anyways! let me know what you thought about this chapter!!! and come hang out with me on [tumblr](https://birightsrichie.tumblr.com)!!


	5. and i'll still pretend that i'm your man

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> "Honestly, I thought you guys were already dating. You talked about him so much that it seemed like the only logical answer," Alex's boyfriend says. Richie is sure that his cheeks are scarlet by now. He cannot believe that his cousins are exposing him like this. Eddie looks awfully smug, though, sitting next to him and smiling.
> 
> "Really? I had no idea Richie thought of me so fondly," Eddie says with a grin.

Richie and Eddie find themselves seated at a table with Richie's cousins, just as Richie had predicted. It's a large circular table with ten other people around it. Everyone takes their seats to wait for the newly wed couple to enter, and Richie watches as Eddie carefully assesses the table setting. 

"I am very impressed by their choice of silverware. It's gorgeous and so, so elegant," Eddie says as he looks the table over.

"That is, like, the gayest thing you have ever said," Richie says through a laugh, and Eddie scrunches his face up at him. "Gayer than when I say 'I love you' to you?" Eddie asks, and Richie has a hard time matching him with a new comeback. He manages to get out, "Yes, it is." It's a weak reply, but it's all he can muster. Eddie never has said "I love you" to him, and the way he's just… mentioning it is distracting. Richie's entire chest is constricting just because he's thinking about the _possibility_ of Eddie saying "I love you."

Luckily, Richie doesn't have to think of what to say next, as a voice comes over the loudspeaker, booming, "Ladies and gentlemen, for the first time ever as a married couple, Mr. and Mrs. Tozier!"

Richie's uncle and his wife come walking through, holding hands and smiling really wide. They look so happy, and it warms Richie's heart. Because of the rise of his real emotions, he decides to make another joke. 

"Hey, Eds. Do you think that's how they'll introduce us? Mr. and Mrs. Tozier?"

"In your dreams," Eddie says back, rolling his eyes. He's got a small smile on his face, though, so Richie keeps going. "Or do you think it should be Mr. and Mrs. Kaspbrak?"

"I would much rather take your last name. Eddie Tozier sounds better than Richie Kaspbrak in my opinion."

Richie's entire mouth goes dry. Every time Eddie effortlessly makes a comment like that, Richie swears a part of him dies and goes to heaven. But the part that's left here on Earth is in some sort of Hell equivalent, stuck in a situation where he's dating the love of his life but it's only pretend.

The first dance starts up, and they're dancing to "I Can't Help Falling in Love With You."

"Eh, this is too typical of a first dance choice for me," Richie says quietly to Eddie.

"You're right. We'd choose something way better."

Richie's eyes nearly pop out of his head, and he barely is able to form words when he says, "It's cause the gays have better taste."

The entire room is watching the first dance, including Richie and Eddie. Richie can feel the warmth radiating off of Eddie from how close they're sitting, and before he knows it, Eddie is scooting closer to rest his hand on Richie's leg. Richie can't decide if he wants Eddie to stop being so touchy or to touch him even more. He doesn't know which would be more difficult.

By the time the first dance ends, Richie is so far in his own head that he almost forgets where they are. He zones back in when he hears Eddie having a conversation with one of his cousins, saying, "Yeah, I'm Eddie, Richie's boyfriend."

 _Richie's boyfriend._ Wow.

"I always wondered when you guys would start dating. It seemed like all Richie could ever talk about was Eddie this and Eddie that," his cousin, Nathan, says.

Another one of his cousins, Alex, chimes in. "I know! We should have started a pool for how long it would take for them to get together. One of us could have made some serious money."

"Honestly, I thought you guys were already dating. You talked about him so much that it seemed like the only logical answer," Alex's boyfriend says. Richie is sure that his cheeks are scarlet by now. He cannot believe that his cousins are exposing him like this. Eddie looks awfully smug, though, sitting next to him and smiling.

"Really? I had no idea Richie thought of me so fondly," Eddie says with a grin.

"Alright, enough talking about me being stupid in love with Eddie. It's gonna make him way too confident," Richie says, hoping to shift the conversation away from his embarrassing ramblings.

"No, I think it's cute! It shows how much you love him," Alex says, and even though she's being genuine and has no idea how much this is embarrassing him, Richie kind of wants to tell her to shut the fuck up. So much for Eddie not catching on to the fact that Richie has a big, stupid, gay crush on him. Or is it a bi crush? Whatever it is, Richie has it. 

"Yeah, Richie. It's _cute_ ," Eddie teases, and Richie's entire face feels like it's on fire and he kind of wants to disappear. But then Eddie reaches out and takes Richie's hand in his, and Richie is suddenly very okay with everything that's being said.

The conversation begins to shift to Nathan's new job, and Richie is very thankful for the spotlight to be away from him. Eddie is on his phone, which is very unlike Eddie because it's "impolite" (Eddie's word, not Richie's), but once Richie's phone vibrates and he sees a new text in the Losers' group chat, he realizes why.

_eddie spaghetti (4:48 PM): just wanted it on the record here that all of richie's cousins have confirmed that he talks about me nonstop_

staniel the maniel (4:50 PM): That's not a surprise. You're his favorite topic.

**_big billiam (4:51 PM): yea all i ever hear about is what eds is up to_ **

**richie (4:52 PM): well FUCK ME for caring about my best friend/fake boyfriend/stepson**

_eddie spaghetti (4:53 PM): i want everyone to know i just hit richie for that stepson comment_

**bev (4:53 PM): as you should.**

"Thanks for extending my embarrassment to our friend group, Spaghetti Man. It reminds me why I love to call you mine!" Richie says dramatically. It gets a little laugh out of Eddie, which is all Richie ever wants.

"Hey, I saw the chance and I took it."

Some time during their texting, the waiters started bringing out the salads. Richie looks down at his small plate and groans. "What, do they think I'm a rabbit or something?"

"Richie, I swear to God. Please just eat _one_ vegetable. I am begging you," Eddie says before struggling to fit a large piece of lettuce into his mouth. It's cute, and Richie can't help but smile while he watches. He ends up eating most of his salad, since Eddie asked him to eat a vegetable.

It's only moments after the salad plates are cleared that the waiters start bringing out the main courses. Richie is impressed by how they just _know_ who was supposed to have what. The one thing he had remembered to update was Eddie's food order, and he had texted his uncle earlier this week when Eddie agreed to come.

Both of them chose the grilled chicken entrée, Eddie because he just thought it sounded better, and Richie because he had a strong opposition to fish, which was the only other choice (besides some vegan option that Richie looked right over, because, gross).

They eat and make polite conversation, learning random bits about the lives of Richie's cousins. Richie cracks jokes quietly to Eddie the entire time, which was probably rude, but he couldn't find it in himself to care because Eddie was laughing.

After they finish eating, Richie looks around the room to see what to do next. He sees the dessert buffet, but he's a little too stuffed to properly take advantage of it at the moment. He decides to wait a bit before going for it.

"Richie, let's dance," Eddie says, and who is Richie to say no? He takes Eddie's hand and they go out and dance to a weird smattering of upbeat songs. The DJ is pretty decent, but Richie is so confused on the total mix of genres and time periods. 

"Damn, Eds! You sure know how to shake it!" Richie cheers, waggling his eyebrows. 

"I know, everyone can definitely see that I'm out of your league," Eddie snips back, and Richie blushes a bit.

"Well, those moves should be illegal. No one should be allowed to be this sexy in public."

"See, I was also going to say your moves should be illegal, but just because they're bad." Eddie sticks his tongue out at Richie when he finishes his sentence, and Richie puts his hand on his heart and feigns injury. He doesn't let it stop his terrible dance moves, though (and in his opinion, his dance moves are actually _fantastic_ , and Eddie just can't appreciate his talent). 

"Shut Up and Dance" ends, and a slow song comes on next. Richie's hands start sweating ridiculously, and he decides now is the time for the dessert buffet. 

"Come on, Eds! Those brownies are calling my name," Richie says as he pulls Eddie off the dance floor.

Richie has just finished loading his plate with sweets when a voice comes over the loudspeaker and announces they're about to cut the cake. Richie and Eddie go back to their table and sit their plates down, directing their attention to the giant cake that the couple is standing next to.

They watch as the whole cake thing is done, and by the end, both the bride and groom have cake and smiles on their faces.

Richie gets up to get a slice of cake, and Eddie stops him for a moment. "Dude, seriously? We just got so many desserts."

"Eddie, there is _free cake_. I absolutely will not pass it up. Now, are you coming?"

Eddie sighs and gets up, following Richie over to the table. They both go for pieces of the cake, Richie searching for one drenched in frosting. On their way back to their seats, Richie gets an idea.

"Hey, Eds. Open up," Richie says, and just as Eddie is opening his mouth to ask Richie why, Richie smears a small piece of cake on his mouth.

"Oh, you did not just do that. You are the _worst_ ," Eddie says, and all Richie can do is grin.

He's about to say something smart when Eddie smears some frosting on his face, hitting his cheek and just barely getting his lips. 

"Okay, that was fair, that was fair," Richie concedes, and Eddie smiles back. Richie then says, "Hey, Eds, you have something on your face."

"Oh, really?" Eddie reaches up and rubs right under his lips, even though he knows just where the cake is. "Did I get it?"

"I can't say you did," Richie says, pretending to be disappointed in Eddie's failed efforts.

"Can you help, then?" Eddie asks, and Richie doesn't even have time to ask what he means because then Eddie is _kissing him_. Like, his lips are touching Eddie's lips. Eddie is pressing their lips together. It's over too soon, leaving Richie breathless and speechless.

"Did that work?"

"Nope, maybe we should do it again," Richie suggests, waggling his eyebrows. Eddie just laughs, licking his lips to clear the remaining cake.

Richie sits his cake down and grabs his phone, typing out a text to Bev.

**richie (6:15 PM): ok so eddie just kissed me?????? like ????? what ???????**

**richie (6:15 PM): i think my brain is melting inside myhead i can't believe that just happened**

**richie (6:16 PM): how am i supposed to act i cant even remember how to be a human**

Bev doesn't immediately reply, so he directs his attention back up to Eddie, who is now folding his napkin back onto the table. When he feels his phone buzz in his hand, Richie looks back down.

_bev (6:19 PM): you are very stupid. just tell him how you feel._

"Richie, let's dance again!" Eddie says, reaching for Richie's hand as the "Cha Cha Slide" starts up. Richie puts his phone back down, not getting the chance to ask Bev for more advice. He follows Eddie out onto the dance floor, and they start to get into line to dance.

"Eddie, just a warning: I'm incredibly good at this. Try not to fall in love with me immediately."

"Shouldn't be that hard," Eddie quips back as the lyrics start. Soon, the entire dance floor is stomping and stepping and reversing around. Richie and Eddie laugh the entire time, because Richie is actually surprisingly good at it and Eddie is _not_. When the song ends, it's quickly followed by Cyndi Lauper's "Time After Time." Richie turns to leave, but Eddie grabs his hand.

"Dance with me, idiot," Eddie says, reaching up and wrapping his arms around Richie's neck. 

"Couldn't resist my moves, huh?" Richie asks, trying to stop himself from passing out at the close contact.

"Sure. And also, what kind of couple comes to a wedding and doesn't slow dance? We don't want anyone poking holes in our story," Eddie says.

Richie's heart drops a little. He'd let himself get too wrapped up in the evening, and now he was remembering that none of this real. Eddie was just pretending to feel this way, just putting on an act for him. Richie's knows his face must falter for a moment, because Eddie looks up at him with concern in his eyes. But then Richie's grinning, so Eddie smiles back.

"You're surprisingly not terrible at slow dancing," Eddie says.

"God, you really know how to make me feel loved," Richie jokes. Eddie laughs and lowers his head, resting it against Richie's chest. Richie tries to will his heart to slow down, because he's pretty sure Eddie can feel it beating a million beats per minute. If he does, though, he doesn't say anything.

Eddie just keeps his head like that, swaying slowly with Richie to the music. Richie's heart aches, because he so badly wants for this to be real. Maybe Bev is right, and he should say something. But then again, if he does and it goes poorly, they're still sleeping in the same bed tonight. And even if they weren't, Richie wouldn't want to risk losing his best friend.

So Richie resolves to just experience this moment, and he'll go back to remembering that it's all pretend when the song ends.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> i have not been to a wedding since i was like 12 so i just dont remember what theyre really like. i am not letting that stop me, though.
> 
> you guys are being SO nice to me about this fic and it makes my heart soar. thank you all so much!!! 
> 
> i just realized i have yet to make a playlist for this fic, so i will make one for the next chapter (probably, unless i can't find a way to fit it in naturally).


	6. it's the fool who fell for you

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> "Rich. What's up? Why are you acting weird?" Eddie asks, exasperated.
> 
> "I'm not acting weird," Richie defends.
> 
> "Yes, you are. You've been quiet for, like, the past fifteen minutes, which is the longest time you've ever been awake and not said something to me. What's wrong?"

The song ends too quickly, and then Eddie is lifting his head up from Richie's chest. Richie gives him a weak smile as they stand awkwardly, trying to figure out what to do next. Richie eventually just excuses himself to go to the bathroom because he's struggling to breathe.

Once he gets into the bathroom, he makes sure it's empty before looking at himself in the mirror and speaking.

"What the fuck is wrong with you? You need to stop getting your hopes up, idiot. This is  _ pretend _ , and yeah that sucks, but Eddie would be so freaked out if he ever thought it was more for you. Get it through your thick skull that this is  _ not real _ , okay? God, you are just-"

Richie stops mid-sentence because someone else walks in, and he doesn't want to come off as crazy. He just washes his hands and leaves, hoping the other guy didn't realize he had been having a conversation with himself.

By now, the reception is starting to clear out and people are heading home. The dance floor is nearly barren, and half of Richie's cousins have made their way to their cars. Eddie is sitting at their table, aimlessly scrolling through his phone. He's all alone, and Richie's heart hurts looking at him like that. He gives himself another quick reminder that this is  _ not real _ and then goes back over to him.

"Alright, spaghetti! Shall we make like too long spaghetti noodles and split?"

"What does that even mean?" Eddie asks, the look on his face somewhere between annoyance and affection.

"Well, when the noodles are too long for the pot, don't you break them in half?" 

"No, you just wait until they cook and then they fit."

"Well, then I've been cooking spaghetti wrong my entire life," Richie remarks.

"Name one instance in which you have cooked spaghetti."

"Okay, so I  _ would  _ have cooked spaghetti wrong, had I ever done it. Anyways, did you wanna stick around or head back? I'm game for whatever you want."

"Can we go? My social battery is nearly completely empty," Eddie says, and Richie nods. He grabs his suit jacket and puts his hand on Eddie's back as they make their way to the door. They wave goodbye to any random family members they pass on their way out, but mainly they just keep to themselves. 

Once outside, Eddie orders an uber from his phone. He has a much better customer rating than Richie, so it's easier for him to get picked up. They stand in the warm April air as they wait.

"Thanks for coming, Eds. I know this wasn't that fun."

"It actually was fun. I would never pass up the opportunity to hear about how much you talk about me to your cousins," Eddie says with a grin, and this time it's Richie rolling his eyes.

"I don't even think I've talked about you that much, they just wanted to embarrass me," Richie says, trying to preserve some of his dignity.

"Yeah,  _ sure _ ."

Then the uber pulls up, and they climb into the back seat. Eddie's hand is sitting in his own lap looking extremely holdable, and Richie almost reaches out. He doesn't, though. He reminds himself that the act is up now, and anything else would just be weird of him.

He's quiet through the short car ride back to the hotel. Well, he's not talking out loud, but the voice in his head is running a mile a minute. 

_ You need to just get over him. He offered to do this as a friend, nothing more. Just because he's gay doesn't mean he's into you. Use your brain, Richie. Don't be stupid and lose your best friend just because you happen to be in love with him. _

He's pretty sure Eddie keeps stealing glances at him, but Richie doesn't let himself look over to verify. He just relies on whatever he sees from his periphery. Before long, they're back to the hotel. They both thank the driver, and Eddie tries to make a joke to Richie on their walk to the elevator, but Richie is still so caught up in his own head that he misses.

The elevator ride is just the two of them, but it's still silent. Richie feels tense and sick, and he can't believe he let himself get into this situation. He doesn't know how much longer he can be alone with Eddie without spontaneously combusting.

Once they unlock and get through the door, Richie is still staying silent. Eddie seems to almost snap in a way. 

"Rich. What's up? Why are you acting weird?" Eddie asks, exasperated.

"I'm not acting weird," Richie defends.

"Yes, you are. You've been quiet for, like, the past fifteen minutes, which is the longest time you've ever been awake and not said something to me. What's wrong?" 

Richie almost tells him. He almost says  _ well, you see, this idea here was very stupid because I'm actually in love with you. Like very in love. And this little glimpse of what it would be like to date you is positively killing me, so I'm staying quiet so I don't say something I'll regret. _

Instead, he just mutters out, "Nothing. It's fine, you don't have to care. You're relieved of your fake boyfriend duties now. No one else is gonna be around us, so I guess this whole shenanigan is over. You don't have to pretend to love me anymore, Eds. " Eddie stands there, looking at him and trying to get him to break. He waits for a minute, not moving as he stares into Richie's eyes. Richie wants to look away, but that would be admitting defeat, admitting that something's wrong. So, he forces his eyes to stay locked with Eddie's.

After what feels like a very long and very tense moment, Eddie sighs. "Fine, if you're not going to tell me what's wrong, I'm just going to shower. I would like it if you would at least return to acting normal when I get out, please."

Once Eddie closes the bathroom door, Richie lets out a stressed breath. He knows he's being stupid now, but he can't help it. He's just trying to protect his own heart, and he can't tell that to Eddie without revealing the secret he's been keeping for ages.

He still needs to talk to  _ someone _ about it, though, so he pulls out his phone and calls Bev. The phone rings twice before she answers.

_ "Why are you calling me and not kissing your fake boyfriend that should be you real boyfriend?" _

"That's an interesting way to say hello. I'm having a personal crisis at the moment and would really like the advice of one red headed girl." He pauses, and then, "That girl is you, by the way."

Bev sighs through the phone before saying,  _ "Okay. What have you messed up this time?" _

"I would like to be offended at the lack of respect there, but it's justified. I'm just being a big stupid bisexual idiot who doesn't know what the  _ fuck  _ to do."

_ "I'll tell you what to do. Fucking tell him how you feel. You are literally the stupidest person on this planet and I cannot stand it. You both are so in love with each other, and you're both so stupid about it because you're always trying to convince yourselves that the other is acting strictly platonic." _

"But, like, this is platonic. He's just helping a bro out."

_ "Oh my God. I am going to murder you. He fucking kissed you, Richie. That's not platonic. Even if you are fake dating or whatever bullshit you guys are calling this. This is real for both of you. Like, so real." _

"But I don't know that. We're just best friends, we're really close. It wouldn't be weird for him to kiss me to carry out the fake boyfriend thing."

_ "I am going to hang up this phone. You are driving me insane. It is literally so obvious to everyone but you. Your feelings are not one-sided, dumbass. I don't know who fell in love first, but you guys have been in love for a very long time. I would really appreciate it if you would pull your head out of your ass and just realize that." _

"But Bev-"

_ "Not buts. I can't believe I have to basically spell it out for you. Literally everyone who ever sees you two together knows you're in love. Either they know you're best friends who are going to end up together, or they just assume you're already together because it is so fucking obvious. If a person has eyes or ears or both, they know that you two are in love. Will you please just fucking tell him before I lose my fucking mind over here. I cannot stand these stupid, clueless texts. Everything you send just verifies that he feels the same, and then you try to act like it doesn't." _

"I guess you could be right, but I don't know what to do here."

_ "You just say, 'Oh, hey, Eddie. I'm in love with you. Can we kiss again?' and then he will say the same and you guys will be gay together and I will finally get some goddamn peace and quiet." _

He hears the water shut off and knows Eddie will be out soon since it's too early for him to do his full night time routine.

"Okay, Bev. I gotta go. I'll try to stop being a coward and a fool, but no promises."

_ "I believe in you! And if you don't, I will make your life living hell until you finally do." _

Moments later, Eddie comes out of the bathroom. He's got a towel wrapped around his waist, and he's still a little damp from the shower. He somehow looks relaxed and tense at the same time. Richie's about to say something, about to apologize for acting weird, when Eddie opens his mouth.

"What if I wasn't pretending?"

Richie's entire mind goes blank, and he tries to process what that means. He knows there's no way it means what he wants it to, so he says, "What? What do you mean?"

"Earlier. You said I don't have to pretend to love you anymore. What if I wasn't pretending? What if I wasn't acting this whole time? What if I really actually want to be with you?"

Richie's mouth goes dry and he feels tears come to his eyes. He is not very good at emotions, so he has no idea what to do. "Why would you? You're, like, so far out of my league. I could only dream to deserve you."

"You don't have to fucking dream, idiot. You have me. I thought it was fucking obvious. I've been trying this whole damn weekend to just get you to realize that I am in love with you, but instead you just spent the whole time acting weird. And I know I'm just kind of blowing up right now, but I can't help it. I had to get it out. I'm sorry if this ruins stuff, since you don't seem to be reacting positively to it. I just - I had to tell you before we went back to being normal and I chickened out again."

The room is quiet for a moment, save for both of their laboured breathing. Richie's pretty sure the sound of his heart nearly beating out of his chest is audible, too, but he's not positive.

"I-I just, I can't believe it's real. I've been acting weird because this has been fucking torturous for me, having you so close to being my boyfriend and then remembering that it's just not real. I've been having a giant crisis this whole weekend because I was afraid I was going to say something that might have revealed what I was thinking and feeling," Richie speeds out.

"What are you saying right now, Rich?" Eddie takes a step closer to him, like he knows but wants to be sure first.

"I'm saying I'm so fucking in love with you that it's almost sad. I'm saying that I would  _ love  _ for this to be real. I'm saying I wasn't pretending either."

At that, Eddie closes the gap between them and leans down to kiss Richie as he sits on the bed. The kiss is sweet and passionate, clearly something both of them have been wanting for so long.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> i was gonna leave u guys on a cliffhanger and have that last conversation happen next chapter, but then it just felt more natural to include it here, and also i just needed them to stop being stupid and finally kiss
> 
> we are getting close to the end!! your comments and kudos make me so so so happy, because this is honestly my favorite fic i've written, and i'm having a lot of fun writing it, and i just really love seeing you guys enjoying it too!!!!! i get so excited when i see a new message in my inbox from one of you. you guys are all so sweet to me and it really means so much!!!
> 
> come visit me on [tumblr](https://birightsrichie.tumblr.com)! i love chatting with you guys!!


	7. leave your clothes all in the hallway with your shoes

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Eddie leaned back against the pillows, and when Richie pulled back, he was taken aback by how beautiful he looked. He was flushed, his pupils were blown, and he was already breathing heavily. Richie honestly had no idea how he had gone this long without kissing him.

When Eddie pulled back from the kiss, all Richie saw was want in his eyes. He looked back at him, standing there naked, save for the towel around his waist, and he didn't know exactly where to take this next. He knew where he  _ wanted  _ to take it, but he didn't want to go too fast for Eddie.

Before he could overthink it, Eddie leaned back down and attached his lips to Richie's. This time, the kiss was sloppier, dirtier, more desperate. Richie guided Eddie to the bed next to him, doing so as gracefully as he could without disconnecting their lips. 

Eddie leaned back against the pillows, and when Richie pulled back, he was taken aback by how beautiful he looked. He was flushed, his pupils were blown, and he was already breathing heavily. Richie honestly had no idea how he had gone this long without kissing him. 

Richie ducks back down and starts kissing along Eddie's jaw before moving his lips to his neck. He sucks on the flesh there, leaving little lovebites as if to say  _ this is real and it did happen _ when he wakes up tomorrow and thinks this was all a dream. When Richie grazes his teeth over his collarbone, Eddie lets out the hottest noise Richie has ever head in his entire life.

Richie is tracing his tongue over his collarbone when Eddie starts to speak. "Rich,  _ fuck _ , take off some clothes. I want to see you."

Richie almost cries at the love in his voice when he speaks. He complies with Eddie's request, unbuttoning his dress shirt and sliding off his slacks. He tosses them lazily onto the floor, and he knows when this is over Eddie is going to criticize him for that, but he can't bring himself to care. When he turns back to Eddie, Richie is sitting on his knees at the foot of his bed, only wearing his briefs. The outline of his cock is  _ very  _ evident, because there is fucking nothing hotter than the love of your life saying he feels the same (and also Eddie is just delectable and Richie's normally fighting hard ons around him anyways).

"God, you're so hot. Come back down here,  _ please _ ," Eddie asks, and it takes Richie all of one millisecond to listen. He presses his body against Eddie's, slotting their lips together once again. He licks into Eddie's mouth, running his tongue along his bottom lip before licking behind his teeth. Richie lets his hands wander down Eddie's chest, feeling the smooth skin.

Richie reluctantly pulls his lips from Eddie's so that he can slide down his body. He trails kisses as he goes, stopping briefly to tweak at his nipples. The reaction he gets is incredible, and Richie tucks that information back into his brain for next time.  _ Next time _ . 

"Baby, can I?" Richie asks when he gets down to Eddie's waist. Eddie nods, and Richie undoes the makeshift tuck that was holding Eddie's towel up around his hips. He inhales sharply when he pulls it off to see Eddie's cock, red and leaking. It's thicker than he thought it would be, and he immediately knows he has to get it in his mouth.

Richie lowers his head, kissing along Eddie's hip bone. When he gets to his cock, he looks back up to Eddie, making sure this okay. When all Eddie does is nod furiously, Richie brings his lips to the head of Eddie's cock, swirling his tongue around it lightly.

A loud moan is ripped from Eddie's mouth at the sudden friction. Richie didn't think it was possible, but he's pretty sure that noise makes him even harder in his briefs. He licks a stripe up the underside of his cock before wrapping his lips around the head. He slowly bobs his head, teasingly lowering his head at a torturous pace. 

When Eddie lets out a whimper, Richie starts to speed up. He bobs his head faster, taking Eddie as deep as he can. Every time his cock hits the back of Richie's throat, Eddie lets out an obscene noise. It spurs Richie on; he wants to make Eddie come apart under him. 

" _ Richie _ , please. I want you to fuck me," Eddie begs, and Richie has to focus so he doesn't cum in his pants immediately. He pulls off of Eddie's dick and looks up at Eddie, saying, "Okay, baby. I think that can be arranged."

He pushes Eddie's legs further apart, exposing his tight hole. He realizes he doesn't have condoms or lube, which is going to be quite a problem, and he says just as much.

"Look in the zipper pocket on the small suitcase," Eddie tells him. Richie hops off the bed and goes to check, and sure enough, there's a small bottle of lube and a few condoms.

"Damn, Eds. You get fucked a lot when you travel?"

"No, asshole. I just had a little bit of  _ hope  _ for this weekend."

Richie's face feels hot at that, knowing that Eddie packed these with the intention of Richie fucking him. He grins at Eddie, saying, "Baby, you really do want my dick, don't you?"

He's half joking, expecting Eddie to sneer at him in response, but instead Eddie lets out a little whine as he nods. Richie all but jumps back onto the bed. He has to fuck Eddie and he has to fuck him  _ now,  _ especially if Eddie keeps making those noises.

Richie coats his fingers in the lube, taking a moment to warm them before pressing his pointer finger against Eddie's hole. He circles it first, teasingly, before lightly pushing it in. It goes in easier than he expected, and he's able to take it to the second knuckle.

"Oh,  _ Eddie _ . Do you do this to yourself? Do you finger your tight asshole when you're alone in your room?" Richie asks in a low voice. His head is nearly spinning as he slowly slides his first finger in and out of Eddie.

Eddie nods, saying, "Yes,  _ fuck _ , yes. Think of you every time." Richie lets out a groan at that. He never expected Eddie to be so  _ filthy  _ in bed. He decides to push his luck, saying, "Tell me what you think about, baby. Tell me what you want me to do to you."

Just as Eddie begins to speak, Richie slides in a second finger. The stretch causes Eddie to let out a whorish moan before he answers. "I think about this, think about you fucking me into the mattress. Fuck, think about how big you are, how you could just cover me. Think about your fingers and your mouth, think about taking your dick down my throat until I'm choking. I think about  _ everything _ ."

Richie is speechless. All he can do is slide in a third finger, thrusting his fingers in earnest now. He's desperate to get Eddie ready so he can fuck him. He finds Eddie's prostate and brushes against it, drawing a throaty gasp from Eddie's mouth. 

"Richie, please. I'm ready.  _ Please _ , I need you inside me," Eddie begs. Richie slowly pulls his fingers out, marveling at how Eddie's hole flutters and tries to clench on nothing. He slides the condom on and lubes himself up, wanting to make this as pleasurable for Eddie as he could.

After adding some more lube to Eddie's hole, Richie lines himself up. He presses the head of his cock against Eddie, pushing in slowly. When Eddie's face tightens, Richie checks in on him. "Eds, you okay? We can stop if you want."

"We are absolutely fucking  _ not  _ stopping. You're just so fucking big, bigger than anything I've ever had in me. I just need more time to adjust. Go slow, please."

Richie listens to him, slowly pressing in until he's buried to the hilt. He stops, waiting for Eddie to adjust. He leans down and slots their lips together again, kissing Eddie desperately. He's running his hands up Eddie's chest, just feeling the skin there again.

"You can move now, Chee."

Richie slowly pulls out before thrusting back in. He sets a slow but deliberate pace, grinding deeply into Eddie with each thrust.

"God, Eds. I've wanted this for so long, wanted you to be mine," Richie almost grunts out as he continues to fuck Eddie slowly.

"Fuck, me too, Richie. So bad."

Richie kisses him again, and when he pulls back, Eddie lets out a breathy, "Harder, fuck, just give me  _ more _ ." Richie starts to pick up the pace, fucking him with quicker thrusts. He groans at the feeling of Eddie clenching around him, saying, "You like when I fuck you hard, baby?"

"Fuck,  _ yes _ , Richie. Want you to fuck me so hard I can't walk."

Richie can do nothing but oblige. He starts fucking Eddie in earnest, setting a brutal pace. He's angled just right, hitting Eddie's prostate on nearly every thrust. He feels that familiar heat pool in his stomach.

"Eds, I'm getting close."

"Me too, Rich. Touch me, please," Eddie asks. Richie wraps his hand around Eddie's cock, jerking in rhythm with his thrusts. 

"You look so fucking beautiful, baby. I love you so fucking much," Richie says, and his words have Eddie clenching down on him as he spills into his hand and onto his own stomach. Eddie arches his back and lets out a whorish moan, and that's all it takes for Richie to cum, filling the condom. He fucks both of them through their orgasms, waiting to pull out until the stimulation is too much.

He gets up and goes into the bathroom, tying off the condom. When he returns, he has a warm washcloth with him. He cleans Eddie's stomach before tossing the washcloth back in the bathroom. Collapsing onto the bed, he curls himself around Eddie.

"I really do love you, Eds. Can't believe it took me so long to say it."

"I love you, too, Chee. So much."

They eventually drift off to sleep, exhausted from their busy day  _ and  _ night. This time, though, Richie doesn't have to struggle with the thoughts of being so close to Eddie but not holding him. This time, Richie falls asleep with his arms wrapped around Eddie, holding him close.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> here's the promised smut!!! because these fools love each other so much!!!! i tried to make it more emotional but normally i write ~sexy~ stuff, so. 
> 
> sorry i broke the daily update streak :/ i really wanted to bust this thing out in eight days, but i had a rough day yesterday and couldn't find the motivation to write. thank you to everyone who sent me nice things on tumblr!! it really made me feel better.
> 
> i love you guys! thank you for reading and leaving such nice comments! they honestly make my day, and i read every single one and smile.


	8. you'll picture me too

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> "Are you trying to die of a coronary embolism?" Eddie asks, eyes growing three sizes at the state of Richie's plate.
> 
> "What? It's all you can eat, Eds. I'm gonna take advantage of it. I'm not an idiot."
> 
> "I sincerely cannot believe that I'm fucking in love with you."
> 
> Richie smiles at that, because this time he knows Eddie means it. It's no longer just something he's saying as an act so that everyone thinks they're dating. It's something he's saying because it's true.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> i made a [playlist](https://open.spotify.com/playlist/3yuXKTz2l0uIrNmlbe3cGq?si=geLNhG6ORFeU92kJl-14fA) for this fic now! it's gonna be linked in the chapter as well when it's mentioned, but i thought i'd put it here too so you can go ahead and listen while you read if you want!

When Richie wakes up the next morning, he's greeted with Eddie's hair in his face. Sometime during the night they had shifted into spooning, and Eddie fit so perfectly as the little spoon, so Richie got to bury his face into Eddie's hair. He stayed like that for a moment, just thinking about how happy he is.

Moments later, Eddie starts to stir. He turns around in Richie's arms so that they're face to face now.

"Well good morning, cutie," Richie says with a grin. He leans in to try to kiss him, but Eddie turns his face and complains, "Ew, no. Morning breath. We can kiss once we brush our teeth."

"I would expect nothing less." 

Eddie's incentive of a kiss is enough to get Richie out of bed quickly. After sliding on some underwear, he darts into the bathroom and wets his toothbrush. He's scrubbing his teeth when his arms suddenly stop working. Eddie had walked into the bathroom, wearing nothing but Richie's dress shirt from last night. The collar is open, though, so Richie gets a clear view of the hickies he left on Eddie's neck. 

He looks fucking radiant. It takes Richie a moment to remember what he's supposed to be doing, and he only realizes when Eddie starts brushing his teeth, too. Richie eyes Eddie through the mirror the whole time, taking in the sight. This is a sight he hopes he gets to see for the rest of his life. He doesn't care if that's too sappy or if it's too early to say that; it's what he wants.

After they both rinse their mouths out, Richie turns to Eddie with a big smile on his face. Eddie rolls his eyes at Richie's excitement, but he leans in anyways. The kiss is quick, because it's morning and who is awake enough to really tongue fuck someone's mouth at 9 AM, but Richie makes sure to slip his tongue into Eddie's mouth for a moment (after all, he _did_ brush his teeth for this).

Richie leaves the bathroom with a big grin on his face (and a little bit of a blush, too). He lazily starts getting ready, making no effort to fix his hair from the mess it has become post-sex and post-sleep. After he's pulled his stupid t-shirt over his head, he checks his phone. He has a text from his cousin Alex saying that he and Eddie should come down to the breakfast buffet.

"Eds, I don't know about you, but I am _starved_ after our late night rendezvous. Could I interest you in a breakfast buffet perhaps?" Richie asks. Eddie walks out of the bathroom and just stares at Richie, looking very fed up. Nevertheless, he nods in agreement. Richie scrolls through his phone while he waits for Eddie to get dressed. When he finishes, Richie jumps up and slides on his shoes.

" _Women want me, fish fear me_? Really, Rich?" Eddie asks with a bewildered expression on his face.

"What? It's just two factual statements. Plus, my shirt is going to be far less interesting to the rest of the world," Richie says, motioning to the hickies that Eddie very much did not try to cover up.

Eddie blushes and rolls his eyes before he grabs the room key. The elevator ride down is short, but it's long enough for Richie to push Eddie up against the wall and make out with him for a minute. When the doors open, though, they're back to behaving like normal people. Well, kind of. Richie _does_ slap Eddie's ass as he gets off the elevator.

They quickly spot Alex and her boyfriend at a large table with a few other cousins and their respective dates. Everyone's eating, but they all seem to be at different stages of the process. There are a few empty seats, some with half-filled cups in front of them already. Richie and Eddie take the empty spots across from Alex and her boyfriend.

"Someone had a fun night," Alex says, raising her eyebrows at both of them. Eddie blushes and rubs his hand over his neck self-consciously. Richie just beams.

"Once we got back, I made sure to order myself a steaming hot plate of spaghetti," Richie says. Eddie rolls his eyes and says, "You are so annoying. I'm going to get food."

Richie follows after him. He grabs a big plate and checks out his options. Going down the line, he loads his plate up with scrambled eggs, seven pieces of bacon, a mini waffle, some hash browns, and a donut. He makes sure to also grab a bowl of froot loops and a mug of coffee. By the time he gets back to the table, Eddie is already seated. His plate is neatly organized, and none of his items are touching. Richie sits back down next to him and starts to dig in.

"Are you trying to die of a coronary embolism?" Eddie asks, eyes growing three sizes at the state of Richie's plate.

"What? It's all you can eat, Eds. I'm gonna take advantage of it. I'm not an idiot."

"I sincerely cannot believe that I'm fucking in love with you."

Richie smiles at that, because this time he knows Eddie means it. It's no longer just something he's saying as an act so that everyone _thinks_ they're dating. It's something he's saying because it's true.

"You guys are adorable. I love your bickering," Alex says, laughing lightly.

"It's constant, because Richie is stupid and I have to make sure he knows it."

"And somehow, it just makes me love him more," Richie says with a smile, gazing at Eddie lovingly. Eddie sticks his tongue out in response before returning his attention to his fruit.

\---

An hour later, they're on the road back to New York. Richie's driving, and Eddie is navigating through Richie's extensive collection of very stupidly named playlists.

"Hey, Eds. Click on the one that says '[let's commit crimes together,](https://open.spotify.com/playlist/3yuXKTz2l0uIrNmlbe3cGq?si=8KpFyWBcTH2ty1E9m5C2iQ)'" Richie says. His eyes don't leave the road, though, because he knows that Eddie would kill him.

"Where do you get these title ideas? They make no sense," Eddie complains.

"They just come to me, Spaghetti Man."

Eddie clicks on the playlist and hits shuffle, and "9/10" by Jeff Rosenstock comes on first.

"Why this playlist?" Eddie asks. He doesn't know what all the songs are going to be, but judging from just this one, it's a little slower than the stuff Richie normally drives to.

"Uh, well. It's a playlist of songs that make me think of you." Richie glues his eyes on the road still, but this time it's because he's a little embarrassed. He's blushing, and he can't believe he just admitted this is the playlist he would listen to when he was feeling particularly in love with Eddie (which is every minute of his life, really).

"You have a playlist of songs for me?" Eddie asks in disbelief.

"Well, yeah. I mean, I love you, and I love music, and there's a lot of music about love, so. Yeah."

"I'm texting myself the link to this playlist because it is about to become the only thing I listen to ever," Eddie says.

"Eds, if you like playlists, just say the word. I will make you a playlist of songs about love every damn day when I wake up. It can be my morning routine, giving you some new songs about how much I love you."

"Careful, I might just hold you to that," Eddie jokes. "Okay, I'm probably going to do it anyways," Richie replies casually. He's still watching the road, so he doesn't get to see the love in Eddie's eyes or the blush on his cheeks. But that's okay, he'll have plenty of time to see those in the future.

They spend the entire car ride listening to that playlist, and even when they get back to the beginning, they just listen again. It's clear that Richie has listened to this a lot, because he sings along without missing a word. Eddie's heart grows three sizes watching him sing so happily.

They arrive on campus close to seven hours later, and they both drag their stuff up to their dorms. They had gotten a text in the Losers' group chat about meeting up at Bev and Ben's apartment to hang out, so both of them just toss their stuff into their dorms and go. Richie can tell Eddie wishes he could neatly unpack everything, but he also knows Eddie wants to see their friends.

On the car ride over, Eddie asks, "How do we tell them that we're dating now?"

"I was thinking, 'Hey, sluts! I fucked Eddie good and now he loves me.' Thoughts?"

"Hmmm… I'm gonna have to go with no on that one. It's just weird, like having to say something to tell them."

"Then let's not. Let's just wait and see how long it takes them to catch on. Probably won't be long considering your neck is basically one big hickey at this point," Richie says.

"Okay, but I'm still going to basically sit on your lap all night."

"If you plan on doing that, you better also make arrangements for us to have a place alone tonight."

They pull up to Bev and Ben's apartment complex and walk in, pressing the "3" button on the elevator. Once the doors close and they're alone, Eddie pushes Richie against the wall and sticks his tongue down his throat. But once again, when the doors open on floor three, they are back to normal.

"I thought it was my turn to do that," Eddie says playfully as they make their way down the hall. God, Richie is so fucking in love with him. Eddie barely knocks on the door before it's opened by a smiling Ben. He pulls Eddie into a hug, and Richie squeezes past them to greet the others. Hugs are exchanged all around, because even though they were only gone for two days, they were still missed.

"How was the wedding?" Stan asks once he claims his spot on the couch. Bill and Mike join him, and Bev and Ben have taken the loveseat. That leaves the armchair for Richie and Eddie. Richie sits down, and Eddie follows through on his promise, sitting in his lap right away. Richie catches Bev's eyebrow raise, but he just shrugs. Honestly, Eddie sitting in Richie's lap is not a rare occurrence, so it doesn't really give them away.

"It was great. My cousins were very impressed that I snagged a cutie like Eddie Spaghetti here," Richie says, pinching Eddie's cheeks. Eddie swats his hand away quickly. 

They all sit like that for a while, just talking about whatever topic comes up. Richie is very aware of the looks he keeps getting from Bev, but he pays her no attention. No one else has said anything, so he's not going to give them away that easily. 

"Do you guys wanna order pizza for dinner?" Ben asks. He's always so focused on making sure everyone is happy. He's truly a great guy. Everyone lets out their mumbled approval, and Ben unlocks his phone before asking, "What kinds do we want?"

Stan wants one with mushrooms and peppers, and Bill, Mike, and Ben all want pepperoni, and Eddie and Bev call for cheese. Richie, of course, has to request his favorite. "I would like one pineapple pizza please, Ben Diesel."

He receives several complaints, because his friends just don't understand his superior pizza taste. He takes it all in, but then Eddie casually says, "You make it so hard to love you sometimes."

"And yet, here you are, on my lap," Richie answers with a grin. Eddie rolls his eyes, but he also leans in and presses a quick kiss to his lips. The whole thing feels so natural. So natural that they both forgot that their friends didn't know.

"Oh my God, fucking _finally_ ," Stan says. Eddie blushes immediately, but Richie keeps his smile plastered on his face.

"I _knew_ you guys would finally get together this weekend. Pay up, boys," Bev says enthusiastically. 

"What do you mean?" Eddie asks. 

"Well, you see, these fools didn't think you guys could stop being stupid long enough to start dating, but I did. So I bet them all $5 that you would, and now I'm $20 richer."

"Is that why you were trying so hard to get me to tell him?" Richie asks Bev, and she shrugs. "I mean, not really, because I was sick of your lovesick rambling. But it gave a nice incentive to actually give you good advice."

"Well, I can't believe you guys didn't clock us as soon as we walked in. Eddie is literally _covered_ in hickies."

"Well, I didn't know what fake dating entailed!" Mike said, holding his hands up defensively.

"You think fake dating means I'm letting him give me hickies? Absolutely not. Only once he admitted that he is helplessly in love with me did I allow him to mark me up," Eddie said matter-of-factly. 

"Okay, I'm going to go order this pizza really quickly, and when I get back, you are telling us all of the details on your weekend," Ben says before walking into the hallway to get some quiet.

"Fuck. Does this mean you guys are gonna be fucking in our room now, Richie?" Bill asks with a defeated look on his face. Richie just shoots him a wink and snakes his arms around Eddie to pull him closer.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> sorry this one took a while! with classes starting up this past week, i've been adjusting to my new schedule this semester. but i should have plenty of time for writing still, so i will still be giving you guys more content! you know i love a good college au (because i like to #project) so there will be some more! i already have my next fic planned out (it's gonna be a hurt/comfort fic tho, so it's gonna be a little sadder). i am looking forward to starting that up sometime over the next week or two!
> 
> i can honestly say this is my favorite fic i've written because it was just a lot of fun to write. i constantly was excited to update, and honestly was bummed these past few days when i was too busy & exhausted to write this last chapter. 
> 
> thank you SO much to everyone that read this! it means so much to me that you guys actually read the shit i write. and thank you so much for leaving kudos and for all of the wonderful comments! i get very excited whenever i get one, and i read them all (several times, tbh). i love you all! as always, come hang with me on [tumblr](https://birightsrichie.tumblr.com)!!


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